From the book Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover
It’s Not Always Your Fault:
Statistics say that 10% of all people won’t like us, so let’s enjoy the 90% who do and stop worrying about the 10% who don’t.
Not everything that happens in life is your fault, and if someone doesn’t like you, it isn’t always something wrong with you, sometimes it’s them.
Sometimes it’s their problems, their pain, and their own hurt make them hurt other people. Sometimes other people hurt you because of their own emotional mess; they lie to you, manipulate you, abuse you, and walk all over you.
It’s not always because of you or something you did wrong. Evil things can happen even if you never do anything wrong and are the kindest person on earth, but God can turn any mess into a miracle if you just trust in Him.
Almost all of our problems are people problems, whether it’s people in the past who have hurt us and wounded us or people in the present who are making our life troubled and difficult.
There will always be people who will hurt us, lie to us, and mock, disrespect, criticize, and offend us. Because people are not perfect, people make mistakes.
You will never meet a perfect person who won’t ever make mistakes, who will never hurt you or disappoint you, and you will never be one yourself. So what do you do then? How do you solve all of your people problems?
You can’t just shut out all the people in your life, nor can you find that perfect person who will never hurt or disappoint you, and avoiding all human beings is not the answer even though it sometimes seems tempting. God have made us dependent on each, and we all need each other at one point or another, so it’s essential that we learn how to get along.
You have to learn to not be offended or hurt, even though people give you a hundred reasons and chances every week to be so. You have to understand that how people treat you says more about how they feel about themselves than how they feel about you.
If people judge you for your mistakes, it’s more likely that they are acting out of their own wounds and are treating others based on how they have been treated in the past.
People who are manipulating, controlling, and abusive haven’t always been so. Maybe they have been hurt and wounded in their past, and they are now acting this way to protect themselves from becoming a victim.
People who are criticizing you and focusing on just the negative aspects about you have been criticized a lot themselves in the past. People who don’t want to see you happy are unhappy people themselves.
If people treat you bad, it’s more likely that they are having problems within themselves than that they are really having a problem with you.
The next time you are around somebody who is really getting on your nerves by being negative or criticizing you, have compassion, and don’t get offended or upset. But remember that they only reflect how they are feeling on the inside.
Everybody just wants to be loved and respected. Keep this in mind with every person you meet, and you’ll have the right mindset that makes it easier to be around other people and avoid conflicts.
Don’t Let Anybody Label You And Put You In A Box
We all have those people in our lives who think they know all about us, what we should and shouldn’t do, what’s best for us, and how our lives are going to end up.
“Well, you can’t do that now, it’s too late for you now that you’ve gotten married and have children; now you can’t do anything with your life but work in a 9–-5 job and have a vacation once or twice a year; that’s all that’s in your future now.”
“You are never going to get married, you’ll never find yourself a good man/woman who will treat you well and love and respect you,” “you’re never going to get children,” “you’re already over your 30’s and still haven’t gotten anywhere, and you never will,” “you’ll never get anywhere, you’ll always be alone.”
You’ll never going to find yourself a good job and succeed,” “you’re never going to grow up, you’re always going to act like a teenager, partying, and you’ll never do anything with your life.”
“You want to quit your job and follow your dreams? Why would you do something stupid like that? So what if it’s making you miserable and you want to try something else that is greater?”
“You want to work now that you have children? The best for children is to stay at home with their parents; you should stay at home with them.”
“You want to stay at home with your children? Why would you want to do that? It’s not good for the children to be at home all the time. They should go to kindergarten.”
It’s those people who are always negative no matter what we say or do and they always think that all our plans are useless, meaningless, or dumb.
People always have something to say no matter what you plan, do, or say; you just have to learn not to let them label you and make you less than what you are. You can have a great future if you stop letting people tell you what you are and what you’re never going to be.
How To Fix People Problems
Unhappy people hurt other people and infect other people with their negativity. When a person is filled with unhappiness or negativity, they spread this to other people. Unhappy people are judgmental, and they criticize, pick on, and hurt other people.
They lie, manipulate, and abuse other people; they make other people feel unworthy and uncomfortable. And many are hateful, jealous, and resentful towards other people’s happiness.
If you are this kind of person, you need to work on yourself and work on any issues you have, and take actions towards getting rid of all your negativity and start to seek God and ask for help and guidance to find the root of the problem.
If you are not this kind of person but have a person like this in your life affecting your happiness, it’s time to take some necessary steps not to let this person’s unhappiness ruin your happiness. If you have done what you can to help this person but it’s not working, it’s time to let go and let God.
We cannot always help people make the necessary changes towards happiness; sometimes their pain is too deep and has been there for too long. And only through the help of God can they make the necessary changes to grow and to release their hurt and pain.
Pray to God that He will help this person make the necessary changes to remove and release all the negativity, hate, hurt, and resentment that are creating this behavior. And pray that this person will be guided towards a happier and more righteous life being closer to God.
People need more of God in their life, and they need your prayers because God works through prayer and faith.
Pray that you will be able to stay unaffected by their negativity and that you instead are able to affect them positively.
AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE WITH YOUR POSITIVITY, STAY UNAFFECTED BY THEIR NEGATIVITY.
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