Don’t criticize or pick on people unless it’s necessary or constructive and could help them positively.
If you find yourself constantly criticizing and commenting other people’s faults, mistakes, and imperfections, it says something about your own insecurities.
Maybe you’ve been criticized and picked on a lot in the past, and now you find yourself passing this on to others, to make yourself feel better.
But it’s not fair on the person being a victim of your insecurities, and it won’t help you work on your own issues. Find out the root of the real problem in your own life that makes you constantly criticize and judge others.
Yes, there are times when people need some criticism and correction, but we have to check with ourselves first to see if our motives are right, before we choose to correct other people.
If you don’t have anything positive to say, then don’t say anything at all.
Criticism Is Pride
When we criticize other people, it is usually because of pride, because we feel better about ourselves and the way we do things, because “we do things the right way.”
Proud criticism often sounds like this: “I can’t believe that person did that, how could they? I would never do that.”
“I would never eat that way, I would never dress that way, I would never behave that way, I would never raise my children that way.” “I would never be in a relationship like that, I would never let anyone treat me like that.”
What you’re really saying is, “I would never do that, because I am better, and I do things the right way.” “I raise my children right, I dress properly, I eat with manners, I make right decisions, I do this, and I do that.”
“How can people do something like that? I would never murder, steal, lie, or cheat.” We immediately judge a person who has committed a crime and done something criminal.
But it never occurs to us that this person may have been abandoned by parents and have had a lack of role models, or that they have been manipulated, brainwashed, or deceived to do what they did.
We hear about school murder committed by somebody, and immediately we start to judge the person or the parents. But it never occurs to us that this person may have been terrorized and mocked in school for years and has tremendous pain inside of him, and this hurt makes him hurt other people. Or that he has been manipulated, deceived, or controlled to commit that crime.
There’s no excuse for sinning and committing a crime except in self-defense, but we should still be understanding and not judge anybody unless we know the whole story and all the pain these people have been carrying around. Judge others, and you will be judged; have mercy, and you will be given mercy. Don’t say judgmental things, and don’t think judgmental thoughts.
Why Do You Criticize Others?
When you correct people on how they look or how they dress, is it to help them? Or is it to make yourself feel better about the imperfections in your own look?
If you correct someone about their health, is it based on the right intentions of helping that person living a healthier life? Or is it based on you wanting to show them that you know better than them?
When you correct people in their choice of career or partner, is it because you see that it’s not really working for them or not making them happy and you see that they need to make a change to get happier? Or are there other reasons for your doing this?
Parents get criticized a lot; yes, we are to deal with people when they are hurting children, and we can give advice if we think they really need it. But constantly picking on and criticizing others for how they are raising their children is unnecessary.
You are not a perfect parent either, you were not a perfect parent when you were younger if you’re finished raising children, and you will not be a perfect parent when you get children if you don’t have them yet.
A woman once said that “I was a better parent before I became one.” We always have a vision of how we think we’re going to be when we are parents, and how we are going to do everything perfectly all the time. But the truth is that we won’t; stop expecting to be a perfect parent, and stop expecting other people to be so as well.
Constructive criticism is also very important in workplaces, between colleagues and between employer and employee. Unnecessary criticism creates a lot of unnecessary stress and discomfort in workplaces.
If you find your employer using unconstructive criticism, it’s usually a matter of their own insecurities as a manager and their own insecurities about how to be respected as an authority. They don’t know the right way to act and be treated as a leader, and they do it in a wrong, controlling, and unprofessional way. When it is between colleagues, it is a matter of being insecure in their own ability to do their job and as an employee, and it may be that they are struggling personally.
Make sure you don’t hurt other people with your insecurities, and when you find yourself being hurt by other people’s criticism, know that it’s rooted in their own insecurities, see it for what it is, forgive, and let go. And pray that this person will work on their issues and stop letting it out on everybody else.
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